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The Off Season

Sports pride is the devil, and summer can be tough with the overall lack of pro sports going on. There’s baseball, where going to a game and having a few beers is definitely fun. But unless you’re a true baseball fan, that just doesn’t cut it. There’s also the NFL around the corner -- but only preseason games, so what the fuck are we supposed to do?

Luckily, this year we at least have the Olympics for a little bit of a distraction. Of course, there are no fans allowed, but at least it’s happening. The best part is trying to figure out not only what time, but where to watch any given event. If you haven’t been keeping up, we’ve already claimed our fair share of medals, with more on the horizon. I’m sure you’ve seen some of the videos of our athletes’ families and hometowns going wild when they’ve won medals.

The Olympics aren’t for everyone, though. What we really need is to bring back ESPN The Ocho and the... uniqueness, that comes with it. The Ocho should become America’s summer fling. It lives fast, you only get slightly invested, it dies young, and you go back to your significant other to tell them you want the break to be over and that you’re ready for something more serious, with promises to give them your fullest attention, all the time. Even if that’s not true.

It’s a bold strategy, Cotton, let’s see if it pays off.

If you aren’t completely sold yet, let’s go over a few of the sports that could pop up on The Ocho, since ESPN will definitely bring it back solely because of this article. First and foremost, we have to take it back to where it all began. There has to be dodgeball. It's a fan favorite, hands down. Next up, LFG already has the ball, or should I say bag, rolling. Yes, you read that right. I’m saying The Ocho should've collabed with The LFG Sports Cornhole Tournament!

If that’s still not enough, add in axe throwing, spikeball, stone skipping and ultimate frisbee. Oh, and lots of beer. Lastly for The Ocho, and I’m going out on a limb here, complete this all star lineup with disc golf. It doesn’t get the hype it deserves, but let me tell you, it’s intense. Watch the pros, go play, and try telling me you aren’t at least somewhat interested.

There are other opportunities with which to spend your time. You could always play a sport, either through an organization or recreationally. Pickup basketball is a personal favorite of mine. You could work out, and yes, that includes lifting your beer from the table to take a drink. Maybe, just maybe, you could even get into running, but at that point you’d have to be pretty desperate for something to do. Or maybe you want to be cultured and will pick up a book for the first time since middle school. Who knows?

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